Being Alive: Meditations on Alone, Alive & the Unknown

Hey Speakerz! Happy Monday! I hope that weekends were restful and cultivating and this monday isn’t about shaking off the blues but embracing a wonderful new way of life. I realize that on this blog, I talk a lot about self love, expression, artistry, aloneness, social justice, etc. I wondered why I “harped” so much on these topics and I realized that as a young 20 something in a metropolis, this is what I deal with in my day to day. This leads into our topic for the day. Our topic for today’s post comes from the song “Being Alive” from the musical Company. What exactly is “alive” and “alone”? How do we filter comfort in our aloneness while this society wants us to constantly have someone, not just in a romantic sense? Who are we?

I started to think, a few years ago about what made me, me. Am I this thought? Am I this emotion? Am I this work? What and who am I, exactly? The more I thought about it, the more secluded I became. I became a hermit. I stopped going out to clubs and bars unless it was to drink a glass of wine and draw by myself. Everything in my life became centered on myself. Many people around me, my family etc. began to say that I was “selfish” because of this newfound awakening and form of questioning. But let’s go back.

If we can acknowledge that the body that we live in is borrowed and we must return it when our time is up, can we also acknowledge that while the body dies, the soul lives on? Where we go isn’t as important as the discovery of just who this soul is that we exist with. Enjoying the little moments, the big moments, challenging ourselves to be better and bigger every day is one way that we learn who the soul is. Despite this, being a young millenial in 2017 is hard because I can admit that I don’t actually know anything and all the things I think I know are probably not in existence. So, in self discovery, being alive is presence. What presence do we have in our current position and how do we make it work for us? We are all alone. It’s true. We walk through this world in a singular existence looking out from our own eyes. But do we then have to be lonely? Does our purpose fill us enough?

How often are we as human beings trained to be people pleasers? From a young age, many of the people that I know, along with myself have spoken about how we are “recovering” people pleasers. I sometimes find myself wanting to do things on my own and then stopping. Sometimes I stop because of fear of the unknown, sometimes I stop because of the wanting to be “ready”. Are these all social constructions that cease to exist in reality? They seem to have the power that we give them. They only have as much grounding as we allow for them to have.

I’ve always heard the saying that someone is an “old soul”. This old soul status. What does it bring with it? A knowledge? A hunger for real, true and honest? Does it mean an understanding of the “aloneness” that seems to haunt us throughout our bodily existence?

How do we live in our alive? How do we love in our alone?

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