How do We Find Clarity Through the Weight of the Winter?

Hello Faithful Blogosphere! So much has happened since last we spoke. It is currently Winter in LA, which I’m learning doesn’t really mean anything but a slight lowering of temperature. The leaves don’t change. There’s no real chill in the air. Apple and Pumpkin picking are non-existent. I’m reminiscing. I know. Fall into Winter is my favorite season of all on the east coast, so I’m missing it now more than ever. But alas, we must move on to the topics of the day. Today’s topics are things that I’ve been meditating on for a few weeks: Weight Gain and Loss.

I’ve been having really amazing conversations and interactions with really dope people since finding my footing here in LA. It makes me truly thankful for the hands that guide me through this world. Most recently, I had a conversation about weight, both the gain and loss of it. Since the big move, I’ve lost about 10-15 or so pounds. I don’t know exactly how much I’ve lost because I’m not actually keeping track as much as people are keeping track for me.  I know what you’re thinking, the LA life is getting to me and I’ve become a health nut. Well, that’s the thing. My diet has stayed basically the same, which is pretty healthy with the exception of ice cream (Don’t ever ask me to give ice cream up because I won’t). Beyond that, my running schedule has been swapped with dance. So In all fairness, I probably should’ve gained weight. But I didn’t. After talking about this with a friend, they said something to the effect of weight being as much spiritual as it is physical. Sometimes our body holds on to weight and only lets it go when we’ve released the lesson. Thinking of this past year, it would make perfect sense that my body held on to a lot of weight and now that the lesson is learned and the stress gone, so too goes the weight.

Thinking of all this weight gain and loss and how people see me as a smaller size sparked some questions. Why is it that we live in a society that prides women on maintaining a certain look and size? Why do we only value specific types of curves? Why is having a belly an undesireable thing? What are these unbelievable body standards that we place on ourselves, regardless of sex and gender?

Americans are some of the most overweight people in the world. Maybe this is due to the fact that we live to eat instead of eating to live. Food is nourishment for our bodies, it propels us forward. If as a society, we ate in ways that would help to facilitate that forward movement, we wouldn’t be as overweight. Okay, I know my love of ice cream has absolutely nothing to do with giving me energy to get through my day. But, I don’t eat ice cream every day. Eating fast food as much as we do is not helpful in the process of taking care of our bodies. For people who say that eating healthy costs money, I would say that in my years of living as an adult, I have yet to make over $15,000 a year and I’ve lived as a vegetarian pretty successfully. It can be done. It takes more effort than you might expect, but it most certainly can be done.

In watching my body shift and change, I realize that “skinny” doesn’t mean “healthy”. Becoming comfortable with the curves that have so been lusted after for centuries is to embrace womanhood. Women have a host of body types, curves are one of them. I remember going to museums and being so entranced by the Italian Renaissance era. The women were shapely with thighs, hips and bellies and seemed so comfortable in their womanliness. That’s what I wanted to look like! Now, I DO look like that and on some days I actually get upset because I want to be smaller! That’s so counter-productive to embracing the self. This body is simply a car that we drive while on this plane. Our souls are much more full than we give them credit for. What happens when you don’t take care of the car? It malfunctions! We must choose to take care of the car! Take care of the psyche, the emotions, the physical, and the spiritual.

So maybe the real question is, how much do we love ourselves? Enough to take care of the whole car, inside and out.

Damali Speaks Xx

 

 

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